I meant to say Lazy As Fuck Dating.
You all, who've read my past postings know I am (well, trying to be, kinda sorta) in the dating world.
I am not alone amongst my circle of friends in said dating world.
I have had a chance to speak to quite a few of them in regards to their experience.
Their experiences were very similar if not the same as mine.
The guys making attempts to date them are L-A-Z-Y!
I've heard and seen this (screenshots provide further evidence of how real the struggle is) occurring across social media amongst my peers as well.
Take into account these infractions are occurring online on dating apps and sites and social media (people often make attempts to date people through Facebook, Instagram and other sites as well)
Take into account these infractions are occurring online on dating apps and sites and social media (people often make attempts to date people through Facebook, Instagram and other sites as well)
Take into account Exhibit A:
Carrying the conversation
Fellas, unless we're in it for the sex, most of us want someone we can talk to.
You all KNOW women like to talk so if you ever plan to get far enough with one who's looking for something deeper, no pun intended, then you MUST be able to hold a decent conversation!
Why are we starting AND carrying the conversation?
There is NO WAY we should strike up a conversation and get hit with a dry ass, "Hi."!
Damn, he was too lazy to throw an exclamation point on the Hi to at least sound enthused?
You should be able to fully articulate and with the abundance of topics in the world to discuss, you should be able to talk about anything and everything, and everything and nothing
There is NO WAY we should strike up a conversation and get hit with a dry ass, "Hi."!
Damn, he was too lazy to throw an exclamation point on the Hi to at least sound enthused?
You should be able to fully articulate and with the abundance of topics in the world to discuss, you should be able to talk about anything and everything, and everything and nothing
Giving Up the Digits
Shooting your number after saying hello doesn't make me want to call you! We haven't had ANY dialogue!
I also don't want to have a million conversations via in boxing on a website either.
If you're genuinely interested in a woman, get her number.
After the first message, no, don't ask for her number.
It seems like you're rushing things and just about every woman I spoke to said this makes them leery!
All we did was match each other and I already have your number?
So, do you do this with ALL your matches?
Not that whoever else you're speaking to is of a concern to me, but I wonder if you have ANY discretion since just anybody can have your number.
However, if we have a good dialogue built up, it's natural to want to know more about the person.
Personally, I REFUSE to get to know someone via text messages and DMs!
I will not do it!
Too much can be misconstrued via text!
We want to know that you can hold a decent conversation and keep us mentally stimulated.
Oh, please, don't let that conversation be filled with ways you can physically stimulate us either!
Ahhhh, the good ol' reliable Netflix and chill!
This works for some.
However, if you're dating with a purpose, that's not an option when first meeting someone to which you have no
commitment.
Even if she's just dating period, why would she not want to go out to get a sense of the type of person you are?
I'm not saying that you have to take her to a five star restaurant.
I don't want to sit across from someone who I have zero chemistry with for a few hours either!
I'm NOT that hard up for a meal!
I also realize how little effort it takes to have a woman come to your home and all you've spent is 7.99 that month.
It's not even how much you spent that's the problem;
It's the lack of trying that poses an issue.
A major complaint in the Lazy AF Dating is communication!
Again, trying to get to know a woman via text, slow to no responses, not returning phone calls or the dreaded not answering but replying by text right after, or not hearing from you for DAYS on end is LAZY AS FUCK!
I cannot STAND a rude man!
I am ALWAYS going to speak up about it.
I am a lot less dismissive about some things, but this is a dealbreaker for me!
Even if I am not interested in someone I have the decency to reply back to them and be polite.
I consider their feelings and I know all too well what it feels like to have my time wasted.
I don't think anyone deserves that, who hasn't done anything to you.
I will be honest with them about it, so as not to waste their time.
Who wants to sit there calling someone, texting someone and pulling teeth to get them to respond to them?
I know with me, if I see you have the propensity to be inconsiderate to me, I am cutting my losses while I still have my pride. I refuse to be made a fool of!
Curving someone seems to be a trend going on from some dudes.
The issue with that is, I am NOT that chick!
I am not that chick that curved you in the past that you're mad at. Oh, BELIEVE me, the last person I dated said something similar to me when I asked why he did whatever he had done to hurt me. He actually said that it was done to him. So, I guess shit trickled downhill to me!
He later tried to backtrack and say he only said that because he was angry but that shit was the TRUTH!
I'm not about to be added to your list of holla back girls either.
You can't pick and choose when you talk to me.
That's not how this works; that's not how any of this works!
While I do have lots of single friends, my married friends' husbands didn't have to be schooled on ANY of this when they were dating.
That's how they knew he was the one and a cut above the rest!
I can work with a brotha and I have, but not one resting on his laurels and putting in zero effort to date me.
If fellas do the work they would see it's way easier than they make it out to be!
It's NOT a job but if you look at it that way, you'll dread it naturally.
Dating should NEVER be this frustrating for either party.
This is basically the easiest stage of any (impending) relationship!
Lazy AF dating really makes me consider closely WHO and HOW I am dating and thinking of the changes I need to implement.
I have standards and I am not settling for anything outside of those; even in dating.
Fellas will find that at this stage in the game, more and more women are doing more of the same.
I know that I have to be willing to take my leaps of faith and try some things outside the box myself (See my Celibacy: Not Getting Any or Not Giving Any post).
I know what I am worth, what I expect and what I need, and I can say with certainty, there's NOTHING lazy as fuck about it!
I also don't want to have a million conversations via in boxing on a website either.
If you're genuinely interested in a woman, get her number.
After the first message, no, don't ask for her number.
It seems like you're rushing things and just about every woman I spoke to said this makes them leery!
All we did was match each other and I already have your number?
So, do you do this with ALL your matches?
Not that whoever else you're speaking to is of a concern to me, but I wonder if you have ANY discretion since just anybody can have your number.
However, if we have a good dialogue built up, it's natural to want to know more about the person.
Personally, I REFUSE to get to know someone via text messages and DMs!
I will not do it!
Too much can be misconstrued via text!
We want to know that you can hold a decent conversation and keep us mentally stimulated.
Oh, please, don't let that conversation be filled with ways you can physically stimulate us either!
Asking a Woman To Chill
Ahhhh, the good ol' reliable Netflix and chill!
This works for some.
However, if you're dating with a purpose, that's not an option when first meeting someone to which you have no
commitment.
Even if she's just dating period, why would she not want to go out to get a sense of the type of person you are?
I'm not saying that you have to take her to a five star restaurant.
I don't want to sit across from someone who I have zero chemistry with for a few hours either!
I'm NOT that hard up for a meal!
I also realize how little effort it takes to have a woman come to your home and all you've spent is 7.99 that month.
It's not even how much you spent that's the problem;
It's the lack of trying that poses an issue.
Poor Communication
Again, trying to get to know a woman via text, slow to no responses, not returning phone calls or the dreaded not answering but replying by text right after, or not hearing from you for DAYS on end is LAZY AS FUCK!
I cannot STAND a rude man!
I am ALWAYS going to speak up about it.
I am a lot less dismissive about some things, but this is a dealbreaker for me!
Even if I am not interested in someone I have the decency to reply back to them and be polite.
I consider their feelings and I know all too well what it feels like to have my time wasted.
I don't think anyone deserves that, who hasn't done anything to you.
I will be honest with them about it, so as not to waste their time.
Who wants to sit there calling someone, texting someone and pulling teeth to get them to respond to them?
I know with me, if I see you have the propensity to be inconsiderate to me, I am cutting my losses while I still have my pride. I refuse to be made a fool of!
Curving someone seems to be a trend going on from some dudes.
The issue with that is, I am NOT that chick!
I am not that chick that curved you in the past that you're mad at. Oh, BELIEVE me, the last person I dated said something similar to me when I asked why he did whatever he had done to hurt me. He actually said that it was done to him. So, I guess shit trickled downhill to me!
He later tried to backtrack and say he only said that because he was angry but that shit was the TRUTH!
I'm not about to be added to your list of holla back girls either.
You can't pick and choose when you talk to me.
That's not how this works; that's not how any of this works!
Putting Zero Creativity Into A Date
There are legit, entire sites that are full of good cheap dates. Pinterest is one of them!
There is LITERALLY no excuse for putting zero effort into making sure she has a good time.
I have been wanting to go on a picnic for a long time.
A VERY long time!
I expressed that to someone I was dating and for ten months he blew it off like it was nothing (take into consideration he was the same did that told me he did something hurtful to me because it was done to him).
I GAVE him the idea on a silver platter and he basically chose scraps.
I don't know why some fellas think we all want to go to fancy restaurants for every date.
That's very mundane and quite limited!
Think outside the box sometimes!
If you know any of her interests (if you cared enough to ask), it should NOT be hard to impress her!
We're not as complicated as you think!
These are just like the basic ABCs of dating.
It's not even touching on relationship behaviors because it seems like it's hard to even get through the very bare necessities of dating to GET to a relationship and that's just sad.
The reason the divorce rate is lowering is because AIN'T NOBODY GETTING MARRIED!
(You know it's serious when I break out in double negatives!)
Hell, if you can't get past dating how in the Hell are you walking down the aisle.
I am not so desperate to get married that I am putting up with lazy as fuck dating!
AIN'T NO WAY! (There those double negatives are again!)While I do have lots of single friends, my married friends' husbands didn't have to be schooled on ANY of this when they were dating.
That's how they knew he was the one and a cut above the rest!
I am just NOT willing to do ALL the work!
He HAS to work with me!I can work with a brotha and I have, but not one resting on his laurels and putting in zero effort to date me.
If fellas do the work they would see it's way easier than they make it out to be!
It's NOT a job but if you look at it that way, you'll dread it naturally.
Dating should NEVER be this frustrating for either party.
This is basically the easiest stage of any (impending) relationship!
I have standards and I am not settling for anything outside of those; even in dating.
Fellas will find that at this stage in the game, more and more women are doing more of the same.
I know that I have to be willing to take my leaps of faith and try some things outside the box myself (See my Celibacy: Not Getting Any or Not Giving Any post).
I know what I am worth, what I expect and what I need, and I can say with certainty, there's NOTHING lazy as fuck about it!
