*sigh* I am new to the Atlanta area and just getting back into the dating scene. It's a much bigger city than the Podunk town I have lived in for the past five years. So naturally, I assumed the dating scene had to be better.
I turned to online dating because I am not sure where I can go socially and haven't truly been ready to hit the club scene. I really don't want too so that's an added factor as well. I would much rather have some conversations, feel him out, meet for coffee (well, hot cocoa for me) and go from there. It's more personal and more intimate.
I tried this app called Tinder.
This app is awesome. It lets you filter out the people in your area and you can go from there. You can like/view them anonymously and if it's a mutal match, it let's you know and drops an reminder in your inbox. If they aren't feeling you, you don't ever know it.
It saves you the humiliating experience of drooling over someone, they know it or ignore you, and you are feeling embarrassed when they don't dig you. You don't have to fake like you like them either. You can lament in silence when you click like and there's no mutual attraction because they have NO IDEA you liked them.
Ohhhh, that glorious mutal match is an awesome thing. I was mutually matched to said musician. Finally, I was having some luck!
He's a cool dude. He's a musician, he's attractive, and he has a great personality. It seems we had a great connection. All was cool until we decided to meet .
You think that when you reached that point, it's all uphill from there. You get to actually see and smell (nothing besides the smell of babies and your momma can top a good smelling man) this wonderful individual and....NOTHING!
I was stood up two nights in a row.
One night being stood up was rehearsal and I understood it. My issue was me having to call HIM to find out what thee hell happened! He saw no issues with not contacting me and giving me the courtesy of knowing he wasn't going to meet me. So, we got past that and decided to go for the next day.
Saturday arrives, babysitters are in place, he's done with his event and all is cool. It's 10 p.m.. It's a little late for my taste but I was being flexible.
The following takes place between 10:00 and 11:45 p.m.
Him: Hey hun im just leaving (city 20 minutes away)
Me: Okay..so you still wanna meet of what? (Excuse the typos but despite them, I gave him an out early in the conversation just in case he was planning to stand me up again. He could have taken it then but that would make too much sense)
Him: I gotta drop off 2 pple first
Me: Okay...I am going to shower.
Him: Hurry (my redflag should have gone up here but I was smiling thinking he was as excited to finally see me as I was him..WRONG!)
Him: Where do u want to meet
Me: I have no idea but its gonna be at least halfway or you come this way
Me: You know I am nnot real familiar
Him: I cant be gone to long....by me having to have this album done in 2 wks im recording every day and night ....but i wanted 2 take a few mins for us 2 meet (Ummm...whet? This was NEVER once mentioned. Mind you, he was supposed to have made time for me finally in his "uber busy" schedule. So why the hell are you springing this on me at the last minute? That's pretty inconsiderate.)
Me: So you have stuff to do tonight?
Him: In about an hour
Me: Music Man, you can't be serious...
Him: Babe i am (cuz Babe always softens the blow of, "I really didn't set aside the time for you. I just said I did so I could appease you at that moment)
Despite my intuition screaming at me to cancel, put my foot down and not accept sub par treatment for our first meeting because it will set the tone for every single time after, I tried to remain flexible and still decided to meet him.
Me: There's a Starbucks on (insert city ten minutes from you so you get the idea of what I mean) ...meet me there (At this point, if I was limited to an hour I would be damned if I was driving far to see him. Fuck that!)
Him: I live 45 minutes from (city closer to you since I have already inconvenienced you)
Me: Okay..so. basically you want me to come that way for an hour or less in the dark knowing IDK where I am headed?
Me: How about we drive towards a middle point. IDK what it where that is though.
Me: I wasn't kidding when I said I had not been out exploring
Mind you ten and fifteen minutes go by and he's not replying so I called.
Me: I just called you ...no answer
Him: Hey hun my phone didnt ring
(I called back...twice...no answer...)
Me: I just called you AGAIN
(I call two more times in yet another 15 minute interval. By now this phone goes straignt to voicemail.)
Me: Call me then
Me: That doesn't make sense to keep making me call you back to not get an answer
(I don't know what kind of game was going on at this point but he's not calling back and taking 10 and 15 minutes to reply to texts. By now it's 11:15!)
Him: Babe r you near (a city about 15 minutes from me)
(this text came in so randomly and at almost 11:30!)
Me: Close enough but you need to call me...
He did not call. He did not text. Not that night again. And not the next day or night either. Today, Monday, rolls around and I sent HIM a message. It was the regular good morning text and asking how he was and when. He started texting small talk I said this:
Look, I am not really one for small talk so I'll just cut right to it. IDK what happened Saturday but if you're not interested it's cool, Music Man, just tell me that so I won't waste time trying to get to know you.
Very straight up and to the point
He didn't reply but used the excuse he was driving and would hit me back.
So hours later, I called him, because it's normal for us to talk during the day with us both being home. Hell, we even started Skyping every day! I could not get him on the phone...again...
Apparently, that warm fuzzy feeling I was having was far from mutual and I didn't see it.
It's not like I was writing his last name behind mine, planning weddings, or naming our kids. I liked him and liking someone feels great! An even greater feeling is when they actually like you too. Apparently, someone or something was causing me to be sent to voicemail, ignored and blown off. Personally, I don't care who or what. My only concern is that he doesn't like me. Everything and everyone else in the equation is irrelevant.
When a man is into you, you will never have to question it. It will be blatantly obvious. Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, will stop him from seeing you or communicating with you. It's men in prison for life that risk being in solitary confinement for extended periods of times, to call a woman from an illegal cell. You can't tell me a man in the free world can't make time. I'd have to be some type of fool to believe that.
There is always a window of opportunity in which you hope that guy will come to his senses and realize he shouldn't have dropped you because you are a catch. However, that only happens in the movies. I guess that's why I hate romance movies. I am never the girl that gets the guy.
You win some, you lose some. Sometimes, he just not that into you.
