Its bad enough that I have to raise her as a single mother but for people who I dubbed as close friends to fade into the background was a blow to me. I may be more determined to be a better person but that's not a bad thing. I don't place myself on a pedestal. And, no, I didn't change and think I was Mother Teresa all of a sudden because its not like I had negative people in my circle. The negative and insincere ones showed their colors and were gone AGES before I was well into my pregnancy/had already become a mother.
Its a shame that people will always find a reason to be envious of you even when you don't have much, are not in a good position in life and they have so much more! There will always be that one thing that they are envious of. And that envy can cause them to distance themselves even though you did NOTHING to them!
I am deeply saddened by this. I have been going through so many obstacles in my life. I have been trying and trying to get back where I was and even further in my life before location wise, career wise and as far as my education, but obstacles have come and they continue to come. And I am dealing with his as best I can and with no one to help me through like I have done my best to help! I don't complain often because I try to stay positive and I don't like to bombard people with my issues but its nice to now you have a shoulder if you need 1.
Words are one thing but actions are what speaks the louder than anything! I sit back and realize how I was there for so many people when they went through emotional and mental challenges and again I am out here in this category 4 storm, deserted on this island.
I haven't changed as far as my interests so I am still me. I don't get the chance to do much of the things I did before but that doesn't mean I can't or wont! It just saddens me that no one asks or cares to find out. I do not expects peoples lives to change for me or for them to stop living their lives on account of me; that's far from feasible. But I am more deserving of this type of treatment by a long shot! I have seen people abandon some of these people, and they truly deserved it and was still the last "man" standing with no resentment and I didn't do it begrudgingly.
So, the thing that has changed the most FOR ME since becoming a mother are my loyalties. I am only going to be as loyal to those who have been loyal to me and are STILL being loyal to me. And at the end of the day, when the storm blows over, the clouds clear up and the sun shines again, the ones standing there with the umbrella, soaking wet are the ones who I now are the truest ever!
