Letting Go

"You made me happy this you can bet

Stood right beside me and I won't forget

I really love you, you should know

I want to make sure I'm right before I let go

We had our good times that's not the same

We're hurting each other girl it's s shame

I won't be foolish I've got to know

I want to make sure I'm right before I let go."

It's ironic that this Maze featuring Frankie Beverly is one of my favorite songs.
It wasn't until recently that I took the words of the song to heart and truly thought about what they meant.

As a matter of fact it was the day before Valentine's Day, and I was thinking of someone who I would have loved to have spent the following day with, but realized it was time to just let that go.

As a woman, I tend to try to make things happen in a relationship that's failing or failed that simply WON'T!  It's not wanting to fail, fear of rejection, being exactly sure that I am right about letting go before I do and a barrage of things.

What I DO know is, that if it doesn't fit, don't force it! I do know that holding onto someone who doesn't deserve you, who can't get past your past mistakes or you, theirs, or who is straddling the fence on where you all stand is not beneficial to YOU!

The person you need to look out for needs to always be you FIRST! Yes, I know it sounds a mite selfish but if you don't do it, who will?
As women, we do tend to put the needs of others well before ours. We don't typically get that in return. This vicious cycle continues and we end up doing what? Refusing to let go!

"We were so close I love your charm, 

ooh I can't understand it, no

Where did we go wrong?

I won't be askin', girl 

I've got to know

I gotta make sure I'm right...

Before I let go."

You can let go of the ideas you have of someone and the relationship you think you should have with them and just let it be what it is. I am not, by any means, saying that you should settle. Sometimes you just enjoy that person for who they are and you know it will never be more than you have right then and there. And that's perfectly fine too. Just know not to expect him to put a ring on it, even if he does like it!

I have also learned that I have to let go of the notion that just because someone is mature doesn't mean that as far as relationships, we are on the same page. We tend to think that as we enter our 40s and are unmarried and/or childless, life as we know it is over. That's definitely something we need to let go of! More and more women in their 40s are settling down, getting married and having babies. Look at Madonna and Halle Berry. Yes, I know they are rich, but their money has nothing to do with their 40+ and 50+ year old uterus!

I am guilty as all hell of hanging on for familiarity and because I am content. Being content with something not meant for us holds us back for the person who truly IS meant for us! That's the WRONG kind of comfort zone to be in! I am sure I said it's unhealthy too before, right?

It's okay to say, "It was fun while it lasted ..." and go on about your business. I am finding myself making that choice as well. You can like that person, like how they look, like how they make you feel (when they make you feel good) and they still simply not be "the one". It simply is what it is!

I am at the point in my life where random texts when either of us in the the mood to deal with the other, hearing from someone days after I contact them or if at all is not my cup of tea. Call me Kermit!

I need communication, a real connection, and real companionship. I just can't settle for whatever it is someone wants to give me. I deserve far more than that and I have earned far more than that. I conduct myself as a woman who is worth more so I expect more. Hell, I REQUIRE more! Any woman who knows her worth should. I certainly know mine.

Seasons change and people change. The saying about people coming into your life for a season are the truest words EVER! I am fine with that. Just like you clean out your closet and rid yourself of the winter clothes in the summer we should do the same in our personal lives. Everything is not worth keeping and cluttering up your life. It may have value but do you REALLY NEED it? Does it bring value to YOU? Does it fit in your life anymore?

And as I have matured over the years, I still had some growing to do, I have finally learned to let go peacefully. I can get mad and fly off the handle and be pretty ugly with my words. I am opting not to do that. I learned lessons from that. Every ending doesn't HAVE to be a bad one. Sometimes things just..end.