Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Change Gone Come
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There was a question posed by a parenting page on Facebook that asked what has changed since you became a mother/what was the most unexpected change. That, for me, was a loaded question! I feel like I am on an island at this point in my life as a parent.
Its bad enough that I have to raise her as a single mother but for people who I dubbed as close friends to fade into the background was a blow to me. I may be more determined to be a better person but that's not a bad thing. I don't place myself on a pedestal. And, no, I didn't change and think I was Mother Teresa all of a sudden because its not like I had negative people in my circle. The negative and insincere ones showed their colors and were gone AGES before I was well into my pregnancy/had already become a mother.
Its a shame that people will always find a reason to be envious of you even when you don't have much, are not in a good position in life and they have so much more! There will always be that one thing that they are envious of. And that envy can cause them to distance themselves even though you did NOTHING to them!
I am deeply saddened by this. I have been going through so many obstacles in my life. I have been trying and trying to get back where I was and even further in my life before location wise, career wise and as far as my education, but obstacles have come and they continue to come. And I am dealing with his as best I can and with no one to help me through like I have done my best to help! I don't complain often because I try to stay positive and I don't like to bombard people with my issues but its nice to now you have a shoulder if you need 1.
Words are one thing but actions are what speaks the louder than anything! I sit back and realize how I was there for so many people when they went through emotional and mental challenges and again I am out here in this category 4 storm, deserted on this island.
I haven't changed as far as my interests so I am still me. I don't get the chance to do much of the things I did before but that doesn't mean I can't or wont! It just saddens me that no one asks or cares to find out. I do not expects peoples lives to change for me or for them to stop living their lives on account of me; that's far from feasible. But I am more deserving of this type of treatment by a long shot! I have seen people abandon some of these people, and they truly deserved it and was still the last "man" standing with no resentment and I didn't do it begrudgingly.
So, the thing that has changed the most FOR ME since becoming a mother are my loyalties. I am only going to be as loyal to those who have been loyal to me and are STILL being loyal to me. And at the end of the day, when the storm blows over, the clouds clear up and the sun shines again, the ones standing there with the umbrella, soaking wet are the ones who I now are the truest ever!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Take Care of YOUR House!
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*Shaking my damn head* Yeah, its been a hot minute since I blogged but I have some shit to get off my chest that has been brewing! Nosy ass people and their simple ass opinions work my FUCKING nerves!
People are ALWAYS criticizing, commenting and giving UNSOLICITED, UNWANTED advice to others but you really should TAKE CARE OF YOUR HOUSE! It ALWAYS something that we can improve about our lives so NONE of us have the room to ALWAYS have something to say about someone else. No one I know, including my very own family, has their house completely in order. And I don't mean cleaning up literally because I see first hand that means NOTHING under the surface! Its much deeper than the surface!
We all do the best we can and yes, we can always do better. We should not be content when we have more potential than what we are settling for. But damn if I look down my nose at others and DARE say it to them if I DO! Who the hell do I think I am? My OWN house is NOT in order!
We all move at our own paces. That doesn't make anyone better than the other. We make decisions we feel are best for ourselves and our children, families, etc.. If our decisions don't negatively affect someone else and theirs don't affect ours we need to keep moving in the right direction.
Its when we judge because we think we know, we don't ask questions, we listen to negativity without THINKING or QUESTIONING it, we fault EVERYONE else for our setbacks, we don't make sacrifices and do things we don't want to, to get what we HAVE to, is when we throw our shit and EVERYONE else's out of whack! PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN GLASS HOUSES DON'T THROW STONES! TAKE CARE OF YOUR HOUSE!
How are your relationships in your life? Are they poor? If so, why? Are you too judgmental? Do you listen before you speak? Do you THINK before you speak? Do you assume? Do you hold grudges? Are you mean, spiteful, or prone to say things you shouldn't? Do you throw past mistakes in people's faces? If you do any of the above, turn the tables, place your selfish ass in their shoes..how does it feel? How would you feel if someone ran up in your house every time something happened before you can get it back organized and started trying to place things where you don't keep them or trying to tell you the place you have it isn't good enough? What would you do? I am sure you would kick them the hell out right? And so would I! Because you can take care of your own house!
We may need help and yes, we can get outside help but unless you ask for it, they should assume YOU DON'T NEED IT! If it is something you can control that you are getting help with and its setting people back, STEP IT UP! It may not happen immediately but after a while it will improve and you will get where you should be but people need to let you do that! But when you don't make that effort, you fail yourself and that's YOUR problem! You can't burden the world because its up to you to TAKE CARE OF YOUR HOUSE!
Now if you all will excuse me, I am going back to my proverbial housekeeping..I see a few spots I missed!
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