Birthdays Was The Worst Days

I get excited and anxious when I realize my birthday is coming up. 
I don't know what I am doing this year. I have several options and that makes me giddy. I am anxious because I still REALLY miss my mom and she will no longer be here to celebrate with me in the flesh. 
So my birthday is an emotional time for me because frankly, I'm still grieving.
However, I am blessed that God saw fit for me to be here, alive and well, so sadness can't overtake that!
This post is about my worst birthday experience to date.
Last year was my first birthday without my mom and it was horrible. I usually spend it with my loved ones but I had someone say they were making some plans for me to get away and relax and it wasn't true. Unfortunately, I prematurely thought they were a loved one.
My mom ALWAYS made big deals out of our birthdays. So you can imagine I was hurt and disappointed when I went nowhere and did nothing.
My friends and family had all been asking me what I wanted to do and I told them that I had a nice room reserved for me and was getting a staycation.
I got attitude, rudeness and disrespected and then not so politely asked to leave because they weren't mentally ready to have their space invaded.
Mind you, I did NOT ask to invade their space! They offered and had me pick a nice room at a nice hotel. However, when I got to their place, they announced we were going NO PLACE! 
I tell you I didn't even have a McDonald's Happy Meal waiting for me! I BOUGHT FOOD FOR US BOTH!
So, they got a good meal a good lay, proceeded to pick arguments that left me in tears and basically told me I had to go. 
Luckily, a good friend bought me dinner and a bottle and cheered me up when they found out what happened. They did it without question or expectations. As it should be. 
Let me say that the offending party apologized...if you can call it that. It was more of a I-wish-she-would-just-shut-the-f***-up-already apology. It wasn't real or heartfelt. Honestly, I wonder if the way I was treated was more of a, "Well, it happened to me so, oh well." Kind of thing. They say hurt people hurt people.
Most of us don't share birthdays with others with our family/friends. It's OUR day! So, of course, we enjoy the extra attention! It only happens once a year!
Even if you do something by yourself every year, CELEBRATE living to see another one even if no one else cares! Do it for you! Don't let someone dictate how YOUR day should go!
Never spend YOUR day being hurt, in tears or filled with any negativity. And that goes for EVERY DAY in life as well.
Go out and do something you always wanted to, pamper yourself, buy that new pair of shoes you wanted...DO YOU!
Yolo so make the most of it!

Extending The Olive Branch

I have a tendency to talk too much, be too blunt and speak too quickly in anger. It's a flaw I readily admit but haven't worked on quite enough. I also struggle with with being  humble and apologizing when I am wrong.

Blame it on my Aries traits, blame it on me being human, blame it on whatever you may. I blame myself. Being an Aries and a human just so happen to be a part of me. I digress.

My temper, my mouth and me being a writer are an extremely  bad combination sometimes. My tongue is as sharp as my pen. Granted, I am not a gossip columnist or an Entertainment blogger. These are my personal accounts of life and are all truth with no exaggeration. There may be lots of sarcasm but never slander.

That doesn't mean because what I said may be true that the way I worded it was right or the way I felt was expressed tactfully. It is, after all, my personal opinion on the situation I dealt with. 

Sometimes, I speak without having all tthe facts about why a situation occurred and I definitely write in haste.

One thing about me that a lot of people don't realize is I am sensitive and I have a heart of gold. I would give my last and I like to see people around me happy and make them happy.

When I wrong those people, I sincerely try to make it right. I extend the olive branch.

I can't force anyone to accept the apologies I extend. I can only offer it in hopes they can see my heart and know it's pure and that I am flawed.

If I wronged you, I publicly apologize. I meant no ill will. If you're in my life, it's because I invited you in and you belong there. I am glad to have you! 

If anyone doesn't accept that from me, thank you for being part of my life for the time you were there. You had a reason and a purpose, and I may not understand it now, but eventually I will. 

For now, I immediately feel the repercussions of doing something wrong to someone or talking too much. And that's a lesson I am learning and living with. I am not happy about it but I accept it. If I can dish it out, I can take it, even if it's taking a loss. You win some, you lose some. 

So, from the bottom of my heart, with pride swallowed and ego checked, I sincerely say, I am sorry.