I always seem to dig the inspirational pics floating around
that tell I should remember to always wear my crown
it just seems to me that somewhere in the dark
Is someone meaning me no good and trying to steal my spark
When he comes to light, your guts says not let him in
cuz you think that you're judging this one, for that one's past sin
I ignore my instincts and the waves in my gut
and chalk it up to nerves or maybe even lust
I forgot my worth
traded my stock in for hurt
accepted far less than I should
cuz just maybe he's some good
Potential means nothing if he doesn't live up to it
waiting for him to make a change but I already knew it
was never gonna happen he just kept taking and taking
He shoulda had an S on HIS chest so why am I doing the caping?
I accept them with chinks in their armor
Hand over my heart without thinking how much they going to harm her
Nurturing by nature
Never organically trained to hate yah
I have jewels of wisdom but my crown is missing a few
Said to myself, to thine own self, be true
Trying to lead with your heart, girl, but where's the man to lead you?
Following blindly in hopes I won't be left at confused
I've hidden my regal stature and downplayed what I need
While feeding into his desires, selfishness, and greed
I never fail to give my all
He never deems to catch me when I start to fall
I don't listen to instinct, even when I know what's right
I feel like I'll fail him by giving up the fight
But like I'm sparring with someone to give my love and affection
It should never be a war to form that connection
we never look up, open our eyes and look around
we end up settling for less and putting dents in our crown
I feel like I'm following the same endless trail
That leads to broken hearts and relationships that fail
I just want the effort I give to be given in return
That's a blessing I know I long ago earned
I just have to touch my crown some days to make sure it's even there
I feel like it fell off completely back there
Where is back there when you don't know where you were?
When everything you thought you were clear about is suddenly a blur
You doubt your every fiber, you can't be sure what you're doing wrong
You're left in the wake of hurt, anger, and frustration while your violators move right along
I am so weary of the way my intuition
Screams and yells when it's not right that often I don't listen
I am so ready to feel that stir in my spirit
That unmistakable message that's he's my soul mate, I pray soon, I hear it
I know my prayers never fall on deaf ears
I have to learn patience and learn to find me
I love who I am inside and out, and do so unconditionally
I second guess myself based on excuses from those most undeserving
I know who I am and what I offer, self-doubt for me is not purposed serving
It's so easy to believe what others say is our fault when they are flawed as ever
with those kinds of poisonous people, my ties will be severed
It's not a case of forgetting who I was because that won't change for anyone
it's remembering my value that came a little undone
Feelings of inadequacy overpowered my good sense
Wondering if I measured up, shattered my confidence
Feeling I needed closure on an open and shut case
When everything I needed to move forward was right in my face
It's nothing I needed to see and nothing I needed to have confirmed
Just that I needed to take gems for my crown in those lessons learned
The strength I had before didn't weaken over time
I'm still resilient and full of energy and I'll be just fine
So it's time for me to look up, open my eyes and look around
I will never again settle for less and fix these dents in my crown
