Coming to My Senses

So just the other day I was talking to my best friend about lack of communication from guys that we date. I was telling her that they don't realize how much time they give us to think when they disappear and don't reach out to us for days. Trust me, we have a lot of time to process things!

Now, you are probably saying that it also gives us time to over analyze things as well, and this is true. 

However, if the lines of communication were open, we would have a crystal clear picture of how the guy feels, what he's thinking and won't be left guessing.

The time that the guy disappears also gives us time to come to our senses.

We know that nothing short of bodily injury, and sometimes even that, will keep a man from contacting a woman he is truly interested in. 

There aren't enough blogs,  vlogs, and everything in between, from men themselves, verifying that. 

But damn all that; it's clear!

It's not rocket science,  chemistry or geometry. It's rather simple; when he wants to be in touch with you he will! 

Now, ladies,  a lot of you are guilty of letting them get missing and then going for their excuses when they pop back up.

I am guilty of this. 

There comes a time on your life,  when you reach a certain age,  where that's not acceptable.

I'm 42. I don't date ANYONE who is not fully aware that communication is key in any developing or developed relationship. Whether they take heed to that determines if they are allowed to stay in my space.

I don't care how much I like you,  if you make excuse after excuse for not communicating, I am gone. 

The thing about that is, you're communicating with SOMEONE,  it's just not me!

I'm cool with not being "the one". I'm not cool with a man not being 100 about me not being the one! 

Building up false ass hope with sporadic texts doesn't work for very long. As I stated, we come to our senses in your absence. 

I'm not perfect  but I'm a dope ass chick.

You're probably saying, "If you're so dope,  why are you single?"

Honestly, I wish I knew. 

You can gather by my past blogs though,  I haven't met any stellar gentleman that I ran off with my bluntness and my straight forward, Aries personality. I just haven't met any stellar gentlemen AT ALL! 

I have faith that they are still out there so I keep trying.  

I need to branch out in where I am meeting them however (clearly,  online dating is a huge failure).

I am on Meet Up but as confident and outgoing as I am,  I haven't mustered up the courage to go to one. I have valid excuses at the moment (a wrecked car and an injured right leg are pretty good reasons). 

My recent car accident and injury knocked some sense into me about the men in my midst. When times like this are upon you,  you see who is there for you when you need them mentally, emotionally and physically. 

No excuse will validate someone not at least communicating to see if you're still breathing at a time like that! 

I was literally run over by my car and when I tell you not one man in my midst was there for me mentally,  emotionally or phsycially, I do not exaggerate!

I was off for a week and could barely walk and I was isolated and alone. Oh,  add to that,  I don't have a legally driveable car so THAT was when I needed the most help I EVER needed. 

It gave me time to think,  it gave me time to process and it have me time to reevaluate.

Why isn't anyone calling to ask how I really feel?  Do they realize I could have died? Do they realize I'm shaken to my core? Do they realize how painful it is for a 2 ton vehicle to run over your body? Do they realize I just lost my ONLY means of transportation and I have a kid I am a single mom to?

Do they realize how expensive Uber and car rentals are? 

So many question went through my mind. 

While it's not their responsiblity, it's mine, there is also knowing that when someone cares about you,  they help when they can. Rather that be mentally,  emotionally,  financially or physically,  they do what they can because they care and they want you to know it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

It opened up so many revelations for me. I just saw the truth for what it is even though I asked for the truth straight out. 

It put so many things into perspective for me.

I realized that I had clouded vision, I realized I wasn't thinking clearly and most importantly it made me come to my senses. 

Lasso The Moon

One day,  my big heart will work out for me.
Unfortunately, that day is probably not coming anytime soon.
No,  this is not about woe is me and there's no need to cue the violins. I am just telling it like it is.
People close to me still can't wrap their mind around me being so frank and honest when I blog. However, I am the same way face to face. This is just me translating that to "paper".
I. Am. A. Hopeless. Romantic.
I said it and I confess.
Still,  I don't fall in love THAT easily.
I am not in love now as I write this but there's always that possibility looming in the air.
I just realize that right now, it might not be in the stars for me.
Before you go thinking what I am saying is mumbo jumbo, consider this;  if the alignment of the moon and the sun can cause catastrophic events all over the planet,  imagine what it can do in our lives!
I am intense when I decide to open my heart.
Not the boil your rabbit,  sit outside your house in the bushes and hack your accounts type of intense.
I'm the ride or die, stand by your man even when he's in the trenches, baby-you-can-run-the-world-and-I-gotchu kind of intense.
A lot of people can't handle that. There have been few who can. They were also intense when they loved. 
So,  there HAVE been ones who reached the deepest depths of my heart.
It just wasn't meant to be at that time.
Many factors could have played a part. It could be that we weren't doing what we should in other areas for things to fall into place.
When I look back,  we weren't!
It can't be one person doing everything right and the other is not. It will never work.
Sidebar: I have witnessed this with other relationships and I DO NOT envy them! I'd die alone before I accept that from any man just to say I have one! I say this to you at the age of 42 (I am never afraid to tell my age because my parents good genes passed down to me and I look lots younger than I am!  Thank you, God, for small blessings!).
I have seen relationships where one person is using the other whose giving everything they have to them, one person is cheating while the other is at home waiting faithfully, people  who are secretly in love with others and etc. There's no way the cosmos will bless unions like that!  They are NOT aligned!
I am extra careful what I put out in the universe because I feel like our energy,  our vibes and our aura create the what we get back!
Being positive is WORK, anything rewarding in life is WORK and anything meant to last for life is WORK!
Don't ever doubt that!
The payoff,  however, now that's all worth it!
I realize that I do have to do some changing just as the universe is ever changing.
I know what I offer and I know what I want but something HAS to be off.  I am big enough to realize that.
Maybe I need to rein in my intensity some. I can't call it but know I am willing to be totally open to the changes that I need to make, whatever they may be.
The only way I will get answers from the Universe is if I pray to the Creator of it.
This might be part of the issue in of itself.
I am guilty of not praying when I should or even when I need it the most.
One thing that I won't change is my requirements.
I require more than what a lot of others are accepting and that's saying a LOT because I don't require that much.

Every time I hear Ready or Not by After 7, I say it's exactly the song I hear in my head when someone asks me what I want.

I think to myself, "If you want to know what I REALLY want then sit up and take notes when that song comes on!"

Yeah,  I'm sure you're saying, "This chick is nuts!  A man can't give her everything!"
Those men KNOW they can't possibly give their women the sun,  the rain,  the moon,  the stars and the mountains AND THE WORLD and even more.  I can promise you this though; they were willing to try! That alone speaks VOLUMES!
You see the picture I linked is from Bruce Almighty. He was named God for a period of time and just because he knew how much his lady loved full moons,  he lassoed the moon to bring it's shine and beauty closer to her!  It doesn't get much better than that!
The moral of the story is: I just want someone who will lasso the moon for me in their way. They do it because they can,  they are willing and able.
The issue has been that I have not found the one willing to do so yet.
I would love to.
I know for a fact I am worth it,  would make him feel appreciated for it and show reciprocity.
It's not a tall order for someone truly ready. The part of being ready falls on me too. I will do what I need to make sure I am ready to receive that!

I will keep my eyes open for my moon wranglers in the mean time though. If they have the sun, the rain,  the stars, the mountains, the world and more,  I'll take that too!  He'd never be able to say he found a woman that loved and appreciated him for that more than he could say of me!