All She Ever Wanted Was a Real One

Can I be frank for a moment?

I do not like Atlanta. 
Yeah, I live here but let me just say this is not the "mecca" they claim it is! The majority of Black people here do NOT help each other! They look out for whoever they think can further them but God forbid they help someone reach a higher level out of the kindness of their heart! We'll NEVER get ahead as a people like this! EVER!

I am disappointed by this.

Some of the white ones look down on "us" way too much to be so cocky. It's 2016! I grew up with more, knowing more and exposed to more than half of them. I am educated and well spoken as were/are my parents. I am NOT a dumb Negro! I am African-American and I am a threat but not physically; my brain and mind-set tell my story. I am angered by this.

What I am really disheartened by is the dating scene!
The dating scene here in Atlanta has these dudes heads super swollen cuz they see quantity but aren't seeking quality.

They just see numbers and they lose it!

They feel a car, a decent job and their own place makes the a supreme catch.

Gtfoh, grown ass man, you're SUPPOSED to have that! That shit doesn't make you God's gift to women! You're doing shit normal men do! I am NOT impressed!

I am impressed by loyalty (this falls in line with honesty and monogamy), when they are family oriented, don't have fear of commitment, practise the three Ps: profess (professing to the world their love and devotion to me), protect (there should be no way a man I'm with should let anyone day or do anything foul to me. Considering, I don't want a thug nor do I ask for drama, cause drama or tolerate drama; if it comes my way it's unwarranted. I don't want a dude shrugging his shoulders and letting me know he could give two shits about my well being. I can't check a man the way another man can) and provide (this doesn't mean you have to pay my bills but possess the ability and willingness to do so. Nothing sucks worse than having a need and a man who puts his dick in you but can't put money in your hands when you really need it),  someone with a sense of adventure and a sense of humor, decent conversation, and who can encourage me in spirituality and marriage minded. THAT'S impressive to me!

My ass is phat/fat even though I am fat and my boobs are big. My stomach is flat when I lay down just like everyone else's (a BBW lover once told me he doesn't care about stomachs cuz they are all flat laying down. I thought it was hilarious but made perfectly logical sense. It never stopped me from gettin' busy!) so I don't have body image issues affecting my confidence. So I don't care about or worry about competing with all the video girl shaped chicks running around here (they aren't fairing much better BTW). I am feminine and fly. I smell pretty and look pretty.  You would think that counted for something but it doesn't seem to.

They also seem to think their above average sized phallus is enough. Well, I can tell you, it isn't! 

All they see is  the opportunity to prey on women, good women, and move on to the next victim.

I am nobody's victim! 
I won't ever accept  that and won't settle for it. I am almost 42, I'm not for the children's games. I don't have the patience for it in any capacity. 

I have not experienced this anywhere EXCEPT here!

That ratio of men to women here has these dudes thinking they have it made! 

They probably do but they should take into consideration that while Atlanta is big, at the same time it's rather small. Just like women come here, they can leave here. Women also talk. Even a nobody knows SOMEBODY!

And then there's ALWAYS white men (when I mentioned white people who are judging earlier, I did say SOME remember?)

Yeah, they not sleeping on us just cuz you are. They aren't MY cup of tea but never say never. That ratio works two ways. When shortages occur people find other resources.

I don't know what happened in this "black mecca" that they stopped being a king looking for a queen (ONE queen) and looking to have many wives (and they ain't hardly looking for marriage). 

I'm and old school chick with old school values. I will never accept these new fangled dating rules.

I deserve better and I require better.

I can see my time here in Atlanta coming to an end very soon. I have  things I am working on here first. Then I'm out!

I said the only thing that would keep me here is love. Not just any love either. The put-a-ring-on-it-two-and-a-half-kids-and-a-dog-white-picket-fence kinda love. If God has my soulmate looking for me, He better work fast because I am ret tah go! 

Until then I'll keep my toes dipped in the dating pool and put on my fuckboy blockers; it is certainly no shortage of those!

If you're in the same pool, utilize your life preservers (prophylactics) and only trust the lifeguards (the true good guys and not the ones dressed up as good guys).

Birthdays Was The Worst Days

I get excited and anxious when I realize my birthday is coming up. 
I don't know what I am doing this year. I have several options and that makes me giddy. I am anxious because I still REALLY miss my mom and she will no longer be here to celebrate with me in the flesh. 
So my birthday is an emotional time for me because frankly, I'm still grieving.
However, I am blessed that God saw fit for me to be here, alive and well, so sadness can't overtake that!
This post is about my worst birthday experience to date.
Last year was my first birthday without my mom and it was horrible. I usually spend it with my loved ones but I had someone say they were making some plans for me to get away and relax and it wasn't true. Unfortunately, I prematurely thought they were a loved one.
My mom ALWAYS made big deals out of our birthdays. So you can imagine I was hurt and disappointed when I went nowhere and did nothing.
My friends and family had all been asking me what I wanted to do and I told them that I had a nice room reserved for me and was getting a staycation.
I got attitude, rudeness and disrespected and then not so politely asked to leave because they weren't mentally ready to have their space invaded.
Mind you, I did NOT ask to invade their space! They offered and had me pick a nice room at a nice hotel. However, when I got to their place, they announced we were going NO PLACE! 
I tell you I didn't even have a McDonald's Happy Meal waiting for me! I BOUGHT FOOD FOR US BOTH!
So, they got a good meal a good lay, proceeded to pick arguments that left me in tears and basically told me I had to go. 
Luckily, a good friend bought me dinner and a bottle and cheered me up when they found out what happened. They did it without question or expectations. As it should be. 
Let me say that the offending party apologized...if you can call it that. It was more of a I-wish-she-would-just-shut-the-f***-up-already apology. It wasn't real or heartfelt. Honestly, I wonder if the way I was treated was more of a, "Well, it happened to me so, oh well." Kind of thing. They say hurt people hurt people.
Most of us don't share birthdays with others with our family/friends. It's OUR day! So, of course, we enjoy the extra attention! It only happens once a year!
Even if you do something by yourself every year, CELEBRATE living to see another one even if no one else cares! Do it for you! Don't let someone dictate how YOUR day should go!
Never spend YOUR day being hurt, in tears or filled with any negativity. And that goes for EVERY DAY in life as well.
Go out and do something you always wanted to, pamper yourself, buy that new pair of shoes you wanted...DO YOU!
Yolo so make the most of it!